18.7.09

Back to normal!

I am sorry i have n't been posting a lot lately! My thoughts were all over the place! I want to thank everybody for the advice, although it was n't what i wanted to hear it was in fact what i needed to hear!
Lately i had to do some decision making. Like dropping harmony from the conservatory because it was adding way to much stress into my life and the decision to finish school and get my degree and focusing on singing, you know, stuff like that. I have the bad habbit to take on way to many projects than i can handle and it was time to leave on behind. I prioritised and now i feel i am back again. Now that my life is more balanced, the panic attacks stopped and my breathing is back to normal. I quess i had to make some choices and find out what is that i want from my life, so i can work towards it.
Yesterday i started feeling a lot better so i went out to the real world. I had dinner with my best friend and we had some laughs. Later that night i discovered 12 puppies that were abandoned in a forest near by. Who does that? Now i am trying to find a home for them. They are so cute! And so many of them! Boy, am i in trouble???
Magicwise lately i had to cleanse my home and to cast a protection spell because everything seemed to go wrong. For the first time i used salt to cast my circle and the energy was beautiful. But i also had a problem that i have never had in the past. Grounding was n't easy to do. Since i started practising my craft this was the easy part. It probably was so hard because i was so unbalanced for so long but it was disturbing. After the ritual i felt completely drained of power and dizzy. I actually had to sit down for a while and although i ate something and drunk water(things that i never had to do in the past) it took me a while until i was back to normal. Has this ever happened to you or something similar?
Brightest blessings to all of you!

3 comments:

Autumnforest said...

I admit, taking about a 5-minute cold shower afterwards helped me a lot when I had these issues. I'm an expert in the subject of panic attacks and have counseled people the last 20 years about it. One thing they all have in common is a desire to do everything perfectly and an inner sense that they don't have the skills to handle what's happening in their lives. When you get to a place in your life where you believe that no matter what happens, it'll be okay because you'll take care of it, then you get past panic attacks and they don't occur anymore. They tend to happen in college and with the birth of a first child and times when there's a transition and you feel inadequate to meet the needs. The reason you feel inadequate is a desire to do it all flawlessly and perfectly. Once you get realistic expectations for yourself and look back over your life and realize all you have dealt with already, you'll gain confidence. I considered panic attacks the last screaming cries of a dying childhood. It's that awkward transition to true adulthood. You learn to comfort yourself, praise yourself, and handle all the things a parents once offered. Once you realize you're completely self contained, you never have another panic attack again. Sounds like you're crossing over to completion. Happy journey.

Tavin Orion said...

So I glad to hear you are feeling better! Its hard what life dishes out sometimes. Always know you can lean on us, and that more people are here for you then you probably know.

Bridgett said...

So glad to hear you're feeling better.
And oh my goodness! 12 puppies? Wow! :)