31.1.16

Reunion

They are here! All three of us, plus the animal Kingdom that has taken over our house, under the same roof again.  The moment they arrived found me in a cleaning frenzy even though everything was already perfect.  I couldn't unlock my door from the excitement  and I ran over to them while they were climbing the stairs. I hugged my baby girl right on the floor of our apartment building,  sobbing and saying incoherent stuff, while she calmly told me I missed you mommy so much, I love you.
 She is such an amazing person, so wise and full of love. She only broke into tears when we were going to the store and she was afraid that I was not going with them. It broke my heart to notice so many different things on her. Her longer hair, her taller stand and all the new quirks she has.
 Yesterday turned out much more Greek than I would imagine.  For some reason all this emotional roller coaster took us to a place of constant hunger where I would cook something different every hour and then we would eat it. Of course after all these days that I have n't seen my husband other basic needs were also covered. And I slept much better,  it took me quite a while, but I managed to get a few hours of rest. 

30.1.16

Waiting almost over..

I am okay my loves. Getting stronger every day.  And in this night I am writing you,  I am counting the last hours away from the two most special people in my life.  They are coming back home in the morning.  In just a few hours I will get to hug them and kiss them after being twenty days apart.  Staying away from them was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life.  But I know how blessed I am to have so much love in my life. As the hours go by I grow more and more impatient. It feels as if the clock is ticking slower and slower.  I hope I will be able to get some sleep.  I love you all so much!  I am sorry I wasn't talkative all these days.  I promise I will come back soon.

7.1.16

Lost my cool

Greetings blogfriends.  Today I am going for my rai treatment trial run and to do every medical exam known to man. All these days I have surprised myself with my compartmentalizing skills.  I remembered again and again the quote of Phoebe about Santa on prozac in disneyworld getting layed,  which if you are a huge friends geek like me you know.  I mean I was the coolest.
 I did a decent effort to replace my lacking thyroid hormones with caffeine and running 50 flights of stairs a day for energy (which is not a comic hyperbole,  I run up and down 50 flights of stairs a day, me, hypothyroid!). I also have huge amounts of Saint john wort's teas along with other delightful herbs to keep me happy.  I try to undereat which becomes increasingly harder as my energy needs diminish by the day, so that I don't gain a crazy amount of weight while waiting for my treatment. I dance like crazy to not feel cold( so Shakira replaced Mozart in our house!). I meditate to keep my cognitive function up and running,  so I fought "hypohell" as it is so eloquently described with every fiber of my being.  All that while trying to prepare my sweet daughter that mommy will be away for about a month.
 And then yesterday my last night with her for that period of time after I put her for sleep with a smile I had a tiny melt down.  And by tiny imaging something between Chernobyl and Fukusima. I managed to walk to the living room from the nursery before I hit the floor sobbing and crying and keep saying to myself it's going to be okay again and again in English for some reason.  The fact that she is going to fall and cry, wake up scared, feel sad and need her mommy while I am away from her hit me like a bus. All that time I focused on the positive and then finally yesterday I couldn't.  This is a child that has  only spent the night of my surgery away from me ever since she was born and now this. I admit it.  I lost my cool!
 But now I have to go, run my stairs and get ready.  Talk to you soon. Love you all!!

2.1.16

Happy new year!!

I wish you all a blessed 2016 full of love, health, prosperity, creativity and laughter! May the  Goddess be with you always!