20.2.13

I guess i need a shrink!

I used to enjoy waking up before everyone else and enjoy the day just as she was being born. But then i fell in love with a drummer and if we ever get to go to sleep around 1 am we call ourselves lucky. I need my sleep. 8 hours is the minimum for me. I can not function with less. I can not work with little sleep, because when i am doing a reading i have to be as close to feeling perfect as possible. I tend to overeat when i have n't slept well. Sometimes i get headaches and i am in such a bad mood.
I wonder in what ways our life will change now with the baby. I always wait for Petros to come home from a gig or a rehearsal, or a trip. That is mostly because i can't sleep well without him but also because when Phoebe(the dog!) hears him park the car, she starts running up and down, sobbing from joy, taking down numerous stuff in her path and i eventually wake up. If i wake up in the middle of the night it is extremely difficult for me to get back to sleep, so i choose to stay up and wait for my husband to return  patiently.  Well, obviously that will have to stop.
It is hard for me not knowing how some things will work. I am a planner. I need to know what is up ahead. It is in my blood. I do a daily reading for me, and a montly one and a yearly one and when something is bothering me, or stresses me out i read my cards many times a day. So, not knowing exactly how things will work is bugging me, the least... I understand that this is one of the things you can not prepare, or anticipate, when you are a first time mom, and that i just have to wait and see, but i have so many questions constantly in my head. How exactly will i be working? Could i have the baby with me in the readings like my mom did? How much Petros's schedule will change? Will he be enough around? Will i need  extra help? Will i manage to take next January my diploma or i will just go for a degree and get it over with? Will i bother the baby when i sing? And the biggest one of all.. Will i do a good job? Am i going to be a good mom for her?
So for now all i can do is prepare the best way possible. Make the nursery, baby proof the house, find music for her, plan her wiccaning, work on spells for babies, learn about breastfeeding, learn about babies in general(i know so little, it is scary), find a couple of good pediatricians and well relax.
Today i have been searching for the best dreamcatcher for her crib. I have n't bought the crib yet, but i know  which dreamcather i want. I am also working on the best combination  of herbs for a peaceful sleep pouch, because until now i have made only ones for prophetic dreams(and that is definitely not peaceful!) .
Wishing you guys lots of  luck and love, happiness and magic.

10 comments:

Dede said...

Good Morning! You would be wise to throw all of those planners in the trash prior to her arrival. Babies do not care what your plans are, you are now on their schedule and they are all that matters. You will eat, sleep and shower when she allows it. You will be so surprised at how thankful you are for a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep. And the sheer panic that will come over you the first night that she sleeps all through the night. Relax, enjoy the journey, there will none other like it. You are going to be a great mom!

(((HUGS)))

Hindustanka said...

I do love when you express your worries here, because besides you relieving yourself, you also bring up some issues, which are close to me.I understand why sleep is important to you, I also have a bad mood and head ache when I don't sleep enough.Women need to sleep well and much.
No, no, I'm not at all glad you worry, but I hope that your wisdom will help you to overcome all those big and small anxieties. Baby will make you and your husband happy for sure :)What a wonderful idea to make a dream catcher for her!Be happy and be blessed!
(I need to pick up my cards too..need some answers).

Debra She Who Seeks said...

They say that nothing changes your life like a baby! From what I've seen, that's true. But what do I know? I only have a cat, LOL!

Leeanna Henderson said...

I can't have children and now I'm considered too old for safety reasons, But Dede is so right. I helped bring up 7 of my siblings and let me tell you babies are a handful. Your life will revolve around your child not the other way around.

So relax and like Dede said throw out those planners. Enjoy the time you have now because your life will be a busy joy after.

Oh and will you please get some sleep! Stop fretting about everything. You need it for the baby now.

Diandra said...

I guess even with your third or fifth child, you'd be asking yourself questions like these, since every child is different.

And: As long as you love your child, you will do the best job you can. All parents make mistakes, but as long as their love outweighs their mistakes, everything is fine.

You will figure something out. Just as you did when you first lived on your own, and when you started living with your husband. Don't worry.

Grammy said...

You just need faith in your self and tell your self all is well and as it should be. You add stress to your self when you try to live in the future. And loose today. I spent most of my life in the future and lost so much of the joy in the moment. If I can give any advice it is. Learn to live in the moment. Enjoy each minute. The future will be as it should be if you just let it unfold. Kids are flexible. My oldest grand son is a night owl.And stayed up late as a toddler. You will be a great mom as long as you believe in your self. And I believe in you too. I know you will be great. Have fun planing the arrival, but do not stress. The baby feels what you feel. So be happy. :) much love sent your way. All will be well.

angela said...

I know you will be a good mum because you are already worrying so much. That's what mums do! You will find the baby will tell you what she likes and what whe does not. You will find your new rhythm and you will all prosper xxx

Judy said...

Relax... and be patient with yourself...

Danielle said...

I didn't know you were expecting. How fun. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I had a lot of prophetic dreams. As she gets a little older, she'll have some obvious past life regression as well. My daughter is five now, and she's outgrowing the closeness to past lives that really little ones have. When she was 3, my mom bought her a toy weaving loom and having never seen one in this life, her eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "I had a big one of these when I was a mommy!" Good luck with everything!

misty boston said...

I am sure everything will be fine!!! Its a scary thought to have all these unknowns but you will shower her with love and they say love is the answer! :)