Greetings friends. The Wheel is fastly turning, never ceasing, no matter how much one needs to catch a breath. It is forcing us forward, relentlessly, in an unstoppable movement. Ever pushing, ever flowing time.As the leaves are changing so shall I. I am not one to dwell into unfulfilled wants, but being indecisive can drive me to the brick of madness. I made my choices long ago. Way before I decided I wanted to feel new life grow inside of me. Classical singing is a noble and sometimes cruel art form and I enjoyed it for the best part of my life. But it has a toll I am not willing to pay. Not unlike most things it comes down to priorities. But in its case, it has to be the only one. I love its transcending powers but not that much. On the other hand, making it into a hobby instead of a life choice, to me feels like a betrayal. I can not do that, I never could, I respect it too much. I will probably keep studying every now and again, fill my home with glorious vibrations, but every other aspect of it, I have to turn down.
As in every other thing, when a door closes another one opens. So this decision, has many wonderful consequences. In me accepting to follow this path, I allow myself to be open to other musical endeavors. I would love to learn to be more creative musically. I would love to write songs and be able to play the piano just a tad better(I am really bad!). This will allow me to focus on my writing again, which I have almost abandoned. Perhaps one day, I will go back to school and get my degree. Although right now some tears may fall down my cheeks(I have never been good at letting go of the things I love), I know this is for the best. It appears as if the coming full moon in perigee Eclipse in my rising sign, has indeed revealing and transforming effects in my life. But, as this post is coming to its end, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders. I welcome this season of both the year and my life as well.
Blessed be!
20.9.15
A new season for me
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7 comments:
There will always be music in your life, I know! Enjoy whatever form(s) it takes.
I know all about the terrible pain caused by having to let go something so loved, but like a brilliant Witch said, "As the leaves are changing so shall I." The pain will pass... There will be nostalgia and such, but you'll be able to fill the void with other endeavors... more doors will open.
I wish luck, patience and whole lot of energy in anything you choose to do, dear love!
I'm glad you have made the decision and feel at peace. Yes it hard to let go. But we can only do what we can do. And there is no use continuing unless you can give it your all. I'm sure it will come back into your life when you least expect it too and you will continue your path. But for now enjoy every minute of your beutiful daughter. Believe me the years fly by so very fast xxx
Decisions and changes in one's life can be difficult for sure. I know the pain you are feeling. Retirement was a big decision for me. Yes, I was stressed and my health was paying the price, but work had been a part of my life for 50 years, and it hurt to let it go. Even today I sometimes feel myself yearning to return to the workforce, but I've filled that void with other endeavors. Back to college to study nutrition and health, a total turnaround for me, but still in the helping profession. What is meant to be for you will be.
Mary
It's always hard to let go of the things we've loved for so long, but sometimes even the things we love can be stressful and cause us to feel overwhelmed. I know you will always have music in your life and one day perhaps classical singing will come back in to your life in a way you never expected. <3
...can be a real challenge sometimes to go with the flow of nature. But you know, the things close to ones heart keep coming back, maybe we are meant to step back at times, let something else 'take over', until its time again to sing, play, write again? I'd like to believe so.
It is incredibly difficult to give up something you were passionate and talented about. There is a big lie floating in the world that tells us we can have it all but when we make that choice to 'have it all' we don't get 'all' of what we choose. We only get snippets. Hard choice and I wish you wonderful success in your departure from an old path onto a new one.
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