To come out or not?

Good evening fellow bloggers. After a comment i received i realised i may have offended some people. It made me re-read my previous post and i saw that it could be misinterpreted. I do understand why some people stay inside the closet. I have even advised people to do that in the past. It has to do with the given circumstances and of course the personality of each and every pagan.
What i meant, that was probably understood by most of you who follow my blog, but not from the rest of my readers, is that it is MY OWN personal path to be open about my practices. Since it is something i have talked in the past, i believed in and came from my heart I felt "hypocritical, like a liar and of course shameful". I did n't mean, in any case that it is shameful to hide your spiritual path. On the contrary, someone's choice to come out, is not something to be taken lightly. There will be concequences. It is inevitable to get a little bit hurt by someone's reaction.
That being told, it has a lot of advantages. There is a feeling of unique freedom when you do not have to supress yourself anymore. And also you learn a lot about those close to you and they learn a lot from you.
In my case, it was easier than i thought. It felt good, natural and i realised i was finally on my path. MY OWN path. I feel like i have to break as much the superstitions around witchcraft as possible. I do not believe everyone should , or could do it for that matter. It feels TO ME a noble cause. There have been some hardships for me also. But there were many that surprised me in a wonderful way. I realised that people would love me for who i really was and if they could n't, their love was n't real after all. That is the hardest lesson of a "coming out" pagan.
Despite those discouraging things, i certainly believe that coming out helps us grow as witches. I am saying that from personal experience and from what i heard from others. But everything i said makes sense only for people in liberal countries with religious freedom(someone mentioned something about getting physically hurt).
So, here are some tips if you decide that:
1. Do it slowly. Try coming out to just one person and see how it goes, how it makes you feel and how it makes them feel.
2. Find a person that seems "open" to "confess" for the first time.
3. Explain everything. Some things that you consider simple might indeed be completely new for someone else.
4. Remember and remind them that you are still the same person. They are just discovering a new side of you.
Good luck whatever you decide.
Brightest blessings,


She Who Works Her Will said...

Hi Georgina!

Don't allow anyone to call you a hypocrite. There are many times, when following this path, that saying less is just as important as coming out! As the Wiccan rede states, "speak thee little, listen much".

Take for example our son's adoption. We went through vigorous background checks into every area of our lives including being fingerprinted. When questions arose regarding my religious beliefs, I simply said that I was raised Catholic. I felt like I was denying who I was, but I knew that it was for the good of all.

As I mentioned on my Blog, we have come along way in terms of our acceptance, but there are many who still have yet to overcome their ignorance. Do what you must to protect yourself and those you care about, but always be proud of who you are!



mxtodis123 said...

I want to thank you for your kind words. Yes, it has been a rough year, but it will get better. I have faith in it. This was a great post. I'm a Druid. No one at work really knew. Then I completed my Bardic level and printed out my certificate....and I just said, "What the heck". And I showed everyone...and many had questions, were eager to learn more, but most importantly, all accepted me and my beliefs.

Sharon Day said...

You are too sweet. I always felt that my spirituality was like my sex life, extremely private and personal. If someone knocks at my door with a bible and says "I want to talk to you about your relationship with God," I tend to say, "Okay, if you're willing to talk about your sex life." Upon occasion, I've put my paganism out there to shock someone and drive them away. Sometimes, to let them give up home on converting me. I confessed to family members and my own brother disowned me (Fundamentalist Christian, of course) and I was relieved. I'll be honest. Truly, if someone cannot take your spirituality, they are not ready for you--the real you, all of you, everything that makes you yourself. So, I was relieved that I learned this about him and didn't spend one more second wondering why he wouldn't be a real brother to me, it was because he'd tried for years to convert me. So, unless you're willing ot perhaps lose some people (who weren't really there for you in the first place), keep it to yourself. It is private. It shouldn't matter one wit. Some folks like to go around and say "I'm a Jew" or "I'm a Christian" but I'd rather just say "I"m a human." Love you for writing this post. You really are a compassionate person.

The Traveler said...

I can understand that. I'm avoiding telling a whole bunch of people, several of which I consider to be on the path to being very good personal friends. And as a comment to the earlier post most likely you agreed because you want her to be comfortable. It's human nature to try and be as hospitable as possible to those around us.

Diandra said...

Coming out may not always be easy. But then, what things worth doing are? A friend and I work together as translators at the embassy of a Muslim country, and my friend is dead afraid I might let slip some day that I am a witch.

Honestly, I don't care. Everyone with internet access and a little stalker's interest in me should find out within a few minutes. I don't hide it, but I also don't run around mentioning it.

But whenever religious issues come up with colleagues, I see her go pale and try to interrupt me as soon as I start talking. Which is funny, in a way. I'm sometimes tempted to spill the beans only to see her head explode.

(And I am fully aware that it might be a stupid idea. in another Muslim country a tarot reader has been accused of witchcraft and is about to be executed because of that. But I think that, as long as I am in Germany and remain polite and professional about my work, it shouldn't be too big a problem. And if it was - hey, there's other places to find work.)

Mother Moon said...

sometimes we do forget the differences that each one of us may have in any situation let alone coming out in our beliefs. Your advice is good advice and hopefully those who are in such situations can see where your heart is. I agree that standing up or coming our on what or how you believe can be quite empowering. Yet it can also be quite difficult depending on ones situations. blessings to you dear

Bitsa Lit said...

There are so many people that have no IDEA that I am a pagan! but I suppose if they really listened and watched me, it would be hard to miss :P
I tend to live the life openly and let people find out their own way... They usually say that they have always known and are just now accepting it as a part of me.... like I said... Its not hard to miss...
On the other hand... I try to keep it from a few people.. like my grandfather who is also a pentecostal minister... It wouldnt go over well lol!
anyway! Blessings!!

SunTiger said...

Coming out (or not) is a deeply personal decision that only you can make.

Meanwhile ... I have to say the ONLY resistance I've received from pursuing my path came from family (oddly enough). It was much easier and more accepted than I had thought. Most people do not CARE what philosophy or religion you decide to follow so long as you're not pushing your beliefs onto them.

Good suggestions you make (for newbies to consider) about coming out.

K(Banterings of a Basketcase) said...

What is sad, and I am not insulting your friend here, is that we would never ask a Christian, Jew, Muslim or (insert path here) to hide who they are. It's not like you'd walk into the party and yell "I'm a witch!".
My boyfriend asked the same thing of me. I didn't give him an answer, I haven't proclaimed it to people- but the pentagram tattoo on my back and my love for crystals have had people asking me about being a witch (they all assume its wicca). I don't hide it if they ask. His devote Christian dad asked me too- and I told him I believed in witchcraft, he growled something at me, but it hasn't changed our decent relationship.
anyway- I agree to not hiding. But we don't always have to wear our pointy black hats in public either (grin)

Anonymous said...

That's a tough one. Although openly living as one is, for me at least, is the worthiest path to choose...

...I do also think it depends. And one is always wise, to try and consider the possible consequences- as best one can.

There are humans in this world, who are far from tolerant. And at times one can loose many a thing when telling the truth to the wrong person. Especially when considering work / colleagues / the own boss and so on.


...in the end I'd personally say in the private part of life / friends / family / Beloved ones... one should never hide the true self.

"Out there" it depends...

Nice Blog you've got...

...Bless you!*