My love

Dear blogfriends,
I missed you all so much. I have been stretched too thin lately and between doctors appointments, vet appointments, work and wedding stuff there was just no time to post anything. Everything is working out and i am relieved and almost stress free. It seems like i have multicystical ovaries which is a common condition and hopefully easily cured. Shadow has been neutered yesterday and he is doing fine. And last but certainly not least Beltane is approaching and i am filled with joy. We have yet to write our vals and pick some stuff up, but i can not believe how lucky i am to have a handfasting with the man i love. I am so glad he is not Christian and he is open to everything i want. He is a smoker, he can drive me nuts in a split second and he is always making fun of my tendancy to overreact. But ironically enough he is the one who keeps me sane, helps me deal with stress and he is the man of my dreams. I wished for him and he found me.
I love that he is a drummer. I love he is rock and i am classical. I love that he was always so skinny that he never had to diet(hence these questions like "do fries have a lot of calories?"). This fact makes him out of this world of madness along with his wonderful character. And he was the one who took me out of this world. ALthough it is pretty frustrating to watch him eat a whole pizza for dinner, instead of my pathetic excuse of a salad and never gain a pound. I love the kindness of his soul. I love his green eyes and his dark hair. I love his sense of humour. But most importantly i love the fact that together we are stronger, better and more powerful.
On a more practical note i was thinking of the colours of the ribbons. I want three different ones. Maybe pink, green and yellow but i am not sure yet. I am between a carrot and an apple cake. Wine and beer(as in ale). But i know we will be alone. I will be wearing rose quartz and aventurine. And all i really want is to marry my soulmate and bind us together for this life and those that will follow. The rest are unimportant.
Brightest blessings to all of you***

When life gives you lemons...

Greetings blogland. Thank you for all your wishes. You helped me a lot. You gave me courage, strenth, energy and some great advice. I decided that it is a good thing what is happenning to me, because now i get to have a full check up and it is a wake up call. I have to focus on me instead of stupid little things that i constantly worry about.
I am pretty sure there is a physical reason for my menorrhagia, but it is a period related problem, so the witch inside me can't help it but wonder. Why is it that my femininity is screaming help? Does it have to do with my baby denial that i lately have?
I used to be a baby person. I loved playing with children, talking to them, helping them. I strongly believed that socialising with children fills you up with energy. Lately i have lost my connection with them and with that side of me. I frick out at the idea of having children and the responsibilities they come along with. I do not feel ready and i am worried i will never be. I am afraid i would n't be a good mom, i am way too immature for that. I am still a kid myself.
Do you ever feel ready, though?
As always i will write my question on a leaf and let it fly to the Moon. Maybe then i will have my answer!
Brightest blessings my wonderful readers. Have a magical and serene afternoon.

Is my menorrhagea stress induced?

My usual period problem is back. It does n't stop(almost two weeks now). This time i am going to another doctor to get a second opinion hoping he will not also tell me"must be psychological". Until my appointment i thought i should use every herbal remedy on the net. I drunk the juice of three lemons. I drunk a parsley tea, a nettle's tea and a sage tea(all of them diuretics i might add). I took an iron supplement and a long bath. But mostly i tried to relax, meditate and get zen and all. I prayed, burnt candles and casted a healing spell.
I would appreciate your healing thoughts and love, because they always work.
Brightest blessings, love and light.

I am so lucky to have you guys!

What a difference a bath and a few blogfriends can make! I feel so relaxed and centered and powerful again, and all thanks to you, your love and support.You are a treasure. I ventured through your blogs, your minds, your thoughts, your comments and i returned a whole person again. Thank you. Have a blessed day.
Love and light*

Scattered

Greetings to all the blogland. How are you my wonderful friends? I am trying to find balance and my way back home. Do not get me wrong, i am still one of the most optimistic persons i know. But i used to feel like the world was mine for the taking, while lately i am struggling to get out of the maze of my head.
I will work this out, i know it. I will keep handling the situation the best way i know how, the only way i know how. I will get through this with lots of positive thinking, happy thoughts and all the magic that i have and surrounds me.
For now, i will write a little more in my BOS, i will have a long hot cleansing and relaxing, herbal bath. I will feed my little ones something nice and hearty because lately i have n't given them any people's food. And last but not least i will meditate to unblock all that weird, nasty energy that i have attracted.
Maybe afterwards i will talk to my plants(they are great listeners), to scare my neighbours a little bit more, or watch a movie. What do you think? It's a plan, is n't it?
Blessed be*

On an Esbat

In my darkest of hours, i call Her for guidance. In my greatest of joies, i thank Her for providing. In my scariest of nightmares, i summon Her for protection. Whether my prayer is a howl, a scream, a whisper or a laughter, it is always there, on the edge of my lips, waiting for my breath, so it can exist.
Tonight she will be at Her peak, for all of us to watch her mesmerising beauty. I invite you all to celebrate with me, each at your own time and sacred space. Write your wish in rhyme on a leaf, let it fly away from your hand and watch the wind carry it on its immortal,invisible shoulders. It will find Her, i promise you that, and She will make it come true.
Brightest blessings wiccans, pagans, people.

To gain one to lose another

Greetings to all my beautiful blogfriends new or old. Yesterday i mourned the fact that one of my oldest friends is not in fact in my life anymore and that we grew apart. It was something bothering me for a long time but i have been in denial. I did n't want to accept that. We listen to the same music, he makes me laugh, i make him laugh, he always cheats when we play backgammon, we share a wonderful history of the brightest and more fun years of our lives. I am getting married and i have n't told him. He graduated from college and he did n't tell me. We rarely see each other anymore and when it happens it is because i can not let go. If you do not fight for a friendship though, what do you fight for? Can people who grew apart renew their friendship? I hope so. Either way i am still not giving up.
On a happier note, i think today is the beginning of a new friendship with a person that called me as a client but ended up having a conversation that lasted a whole hour. She is a young witch with great potential. Do n't you just love karma? Losing one, gaining another.
Ostara was joyful and full of light as it should be. I did n't make any wreaths as i planned but i was surrounded by beautiful plants and colourful flowers and i made 2 yellow candles for luck and self healing, one purple for protection and cleansing and a green one for luck and money. I usually make my magical candles during Imbolc, but this year i have been kind of lazy and i make them whenever i need them. As i told you in my last post i had a sensation that this Equinox was going to be powerful and i was n't proven wrong. The brightness of this day was almost overwhelming.
Today is Monday the day of the moon. Celebrate the love in your life and open your hearts to feelings and emotions. Use silver or grey candles and burn an incense of eucalyptus for emotional and physical healing.
Brightest blessings, love and light.