Be ware ...Crazy witch ranting over seasons, birds, diet and toddler meditating....

Greetings blogfriends. If the title has not scared you, you are very brave souls. Are you enjoying this majestic Summer? I love the feeling of the Sun on my skin. I love the sweet smelling evening breeze that travels through greek neighborhoods, because of all the night blooming summer plants that grow in almost every garden. I love walking in the evenings and breathing in the glorious air. But these days i already feel the Wheel turning and it is too soon. Are you listening to me Mother Nature? Too freaking soon. Greek Summers usually begin in late May and end in mid September. This particular one, began in late June(there were rains and it was sometimes a bit chilly till then)  and i know this sounds pretty normal, but not for Athens! And we just had a couple of cloudy days! Most people welcomed this break, and i can deal with it, as long as the Summer continues normally pretty soon. Don't get me wrong, early Autumn is my favorite time of the year. But, this is the time for Summer, wonderful, steamy, hot , greek Summer.
Summer rant over, now lets move on to the bird rant. I am better today. These past days i could not stop blaming myself and second guessing me for every single decision i made to help my sweet  bird. I kept telling myself that we learn from failure more than in success. That i tried my best and provided her the best possible care i could have. That it was her time to transition and move on. But, i beat myself up pretty hard, because i felt that she trusted me and i betrayed her, even though that ever since she got sick all i did was try to help her.I tried three medications, chamomile, apple cider, baths, eye washes, separated her from her cage mate for privacy, made her a cotton bed, fed her and gave her water when she could not see, held her in my hand to keep her warm, breath warm air on her when she was trembling and strong breaths when she could not breath, i sang to her and talked to her to know that she was not alone But, i was so hard on myself for not trying the last medicine first, for not separating  from the other bird  sooner, for not removing her bathtub the previous night, for not feeding her in the mouth before she stopped seeing I understand now that no matter what i  probably still would have lost her and that i did everything  in my power. It is time to move on and allow myself to heal and grow.Even the doctor could not point out a better course of treatment, i really did the best i could. And yet even now, days later my stomach ties up in knots, when i remember her last moments. Thank the Goddess i am not a veterinarian because i would be hospitalized by now.
Have i told you about my new diet and workout routine? It is rather simplified. I am on a variation(my own variation to be exact) of the warrior diet. I drink lemonade with stevia during the day and i have a rich meal at night., mostly consisting of healthy protein and lots of veggies and maybe some sugar free ice cream or a little cheese. Sometimes during the day i eat a couple of pieces of fruit, but lemonade keeps me energized all day, so i rarely need it. Intermittent fasting used to scare me, but now i realize it is much easier than i thought and weirdly enough gave me  vast amounts of energy. Ever since i started it, i have not lost a day of work out. My work out routine these days is 20-40 minutes on my trampoline and then my daily yoga session with Adriene( i am currently on day 11 i think) which is usually around 30 minutes.or less. So, usually i work out a little more than an hour, or if i am not in my most bouncy mood i skip the cardio and only do yoga. Once a week, i try to eat some healthy(hence the trying part) carbs, to boost my metabolism. I eat 800- 1200 calories which is little, but still more than what i used to eat and barely lose weight and i feel better than ever. I do not have the fastest metabolism but it is not that bad if you consider the fact that i am dieting for over a year now. That being said, tonight i had a very decadent and tasty meal that consisted of half a stuffed squash with goat cheese and eggplant, grilled tenderloin and a cup of sugar free ice cream, along with some sparkly water. I love this diet! It may be all i have eaten today, but this is the first time i enjoyed food in a very long time!
Tonight, although the moon was waxing i had a cleansing ritual for our home. There was a lot of death this past couple of weeks and the energy was heavy and raw. My little witchling helped me and chanted the prayer with me. I love practicing magick with her. Doing yoga and meditating though, not so much. Although i have to admit having a toddler climb on you while you are trying(and failing) to do a crow pose adds an element of danger that keeps the practice interesting, and there is nothing cuter of a two year old trying to "meditate" of monkeys(she loves monkeys!). The first time i was explaining the concept, she was trying to rest her hands over my knees instead of hers and she was huffing and puffing while trying to notice her breath, but when she found out she could focus her thoughts in anything she wanted, meditation became all about monkeys. If only you could see her cute little face, while she was squeezing her eyes tightly and talking about  monkeys in our river. So funny! I could not stop laughing..It took me by surprise!
May the Goddess bless you and keep you safe.


Rue said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet canary. Losing a beloved animal friend is always difficult. They are only meant to be here for a short time with us, but we always want them to stay forever.

It sounds like your little one has a fine grasp of meditation. She probably can focus on monkeys better than I can focus on my breath!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

unfortunately, our summer arrived in early april and has been miserably hot and humid without a drop of rain. i cant wait for it to end!

Magic Love Crow said...

Congrats with your dieting and excersizing! You should be very proud of your self! I'm sorry about your bird! Big Hugs!