I haven't worked this much magic in a while. It's this Moon. It is calling me in the most urging of ways. I am blessing jasmine water I brought home from this spring. And I have cast so many spells for meditation, protection, blessing. May the Moon shine her blessings upon you all. What are the chances I can sleep tonight?
Greetings blogfriends. If the title has not scared you, you are very brave souls. Are you enjoying this majestic Summer? I love the feeling of the Sun on my skin. I love the sweet smelling evening breeze that travels through greek neighborhoods, because of all the night blooming summer plants that grow in almost every garden. I love walking in the evenings and breathing in the glorious air. But these days i already feel the Wheel turning and it is too soon. Are you listening to me Mother Nature? Too freaking soon. Greek Summers usually begin in late May and end in mid September. This particular one, began in late June(there were rains and it was sometimes a bit chilly till then) and i know this sounds pretty normal, but not for Athens! And we just had a couple of cloudy days! Most people welcomed this break, and i can deal with it, as long as the Summer continues normally pretty soon. Don't get me wrong, early Autumn is my favorite time of the year. But, this is the time for Summer, wonderful, steamy, hot , greek Summer.
Summer rant over, now lets move on to the bird rant. I am better today. These past days i could not stop blaming myself and second guessing me for every single decision i made to help my sweet bird. I kept telling myself that we learn from failure more than in success. That i tried my best and provided her the best possible care i could have. That it was her time to transition and move on. But, i beat myself up pretty hard, because i felt that she trusted me and i betrayed her, even though that ever since she got sick all i did was try to help her.I tried three medications, chamomile, apple cider, baths, eye washes, separated her from her cage mate for privacy, made her a cotton bed, fed her and gave her water when she could not see, held her in my hand to keep her warm, breath warm air on her when she was trembling and strong breaths when she could not breath, i sang to her and talked to her to know that she was not alone But, i was so hard on myself for not trying the last medicine first, for not separating from the other bird sooner, for not removing her bathtub the previous night, for not feeding her in the mouth before she stopped seeing I understand now that no matter what i probably still would have lost her and that i did everything in my power. It is time to move on and allow myself to heal and grow.Even the doctor could not point out a better course of treatment, i really did the best i could. And yet even now, days later my stomach ties up in knots, when i remember her last moments. Thank the Goddess i am not a veterinarian because i would be hospitalized by now.
Have i told you about my new diet and workout routine? It is rather simplified. I am on a variation(my own variation to be exact) of the warrior diet. I drink lemonade with stevia during the day and i have a rich meal at night., mostly consisting of healthy protein and lots of veggies and maybe some sugar free ice cream or a little cheese. Sometimes during the day i eat a couple of pieces of fruit, but lemonade keeps me energized all day, so i rarely need it. Intermittent fasting used to scare me, but now i realize it is much easier than i thought and weirdly enough gave me vast amounts of energy. Ever since i started it, i have not lost a day of work out. My work out routine these days is 20-40 minutes on my trampoline and then my daily yoga session with Adriene( i am currently on day 11 i think) which is usually around 30 minutes.or less. So, usually i work out a little more than an hour, or if i am not in my most bouncy mood i skip the cardio and only do yoga. Once a week, i try to eat some healthy(hence the trying part) carbs, to boost my metabolism. I eat 800- 1200 calories which is little, but still more than what i used to eat and barely lose weight and i feel better than ever. I do not have the fastest metabolism but it is not that bad if you consider the fact that i am dieting for over a year now. That being said, tonight i had a very decadent and tasty meal that consisted of half a stuffed squash with goat cheese and eggplant, grilled tenderloin and a cup of sugar free ice cream, along with some sparkly water. I love this diet! It may be all i have eaten today, but this is the first time i enjoyed food in a very long time!
Tonight, although the moon was waxing i had a cleansing ritual for our home. There was a lot of death this past couple of weeks and the energy was heavy and raw. My little witchling helped me and chanted the prayer with me. I love practicing magick with her. Doing yoga and meditating though, not so much. Although i have to admit having a toddler climb on you while you are trying(and failing) to do a crow pose adds an element of danger that keeps the practice interesting, and there is nothing cuter of a two year old trying to "meditate" of monkeys(she loves monkeys!). The first time i was explaining the concept, she was trying to rest her hands over my knees instead of hers and she was huffing and puffing while trying to notice her breath, but when she found out she could focus her thoughts in anything she wanted, meditation became all about monkeys. If only you could see her cute little face, while she was squeezing her eyes tightly and talking about monkeys in our river. So funny! I could not stop laughing..It took me by surprise!
May the Goddess bless you and keep you safe.
My sweet little white canary died in my hand, after I held her there almost all day. I fed her, gave her water and many different treatments but I lost her. In the end she wanted water and she drank and drank until finally her tiny head slowly came down to my palm. I miss her so much, she was such a wonderful creature, but in the end she was in so much pain and I am glad it didn't last longer. May her sweet soul find peace and freedom.
Greetings blogfriends! The day before yesterday was my 31st birthday. I had to spend it without my husband because he was on a small tour, but thankfully at around 2 am he came back, so I got to see him on my special day. It was very quiet and I spent the day with a friend and my little fairy, but as always I got to thinking of the year passed and the things I accomplished. In the past my accomplishments were more academically oriented, but this year I was mostly focused on getting more healthy and strong. I wanted to strengthen my back and fix my thyroid and lose weight that seemed impossible at the time with those two issues.Having a low metabolism and not being able to move don't really scream weight loss. But gradually the bad days became less and then the good days were more and now I get to work out almost every day for half an hour on my trampoline and do some strength training or yoga after that. I found out about yoga with Adriene from one of you( I am sorry, I can't remember which one) and I am currently doing her 30 days program. I never thought I would consider exercise a privilege, but chronic pain completely transformed my way of thinking and forced me to take care of myself and make me a priority. I also discovered intermittent fasting and right now I am doing the warrior diet, only more protein focused. I have managed to lose since my last birthday 27kilos( I think that translates into 59 pounds but I wouldn't trust my math), which is quite decent considering all the obstacles. I take a vast amount of supplements in hope of a healthier thyroid gland which I will check around September. Fingers crossed on that one.. This year I also stopped ignoring the truth about my voice, which translates into a lot of work, but it is so worth it. So, I have a lot of studying to do, which sometimes scares me in a counterproductive way, but I am fighting through it. All in all it was a good happy year and I am making myself feel proud of what I managed to do, instead of the things I have failed in. This is the first year I managed to do that and I am happy to say, that this was the least depressing birthday in a while.
On a totally unrelated note, on of my birds( my favorite one, the white Canary) is very sick. We are trying to help it with a bunch of treatments, if you are able and feel like it please send healing thoughts and wishes for her. She is such a peaceful soul.
The wind chimes 's song.....
While a few rays pass through the leaves over my head to come and gently caress my skin.
Greetings blogfriends. These days are hard. Friday night we lost a very beloved uncle of a heart attack. It was extremely sudden since he was only 57 and had no health issues at all. He had a recent check up and everything was fine. He was my husband's uncle and the father of one of my favorite people in the world, a young witch that I consider a sister. My heart breaks for her.
These last couple of weeks I had very often bad feelings, as a premonition that was not coming, that left me shivering in the middle of the Greek summer. During one of those times I told my husband " we will see your parents ". But I shook of the overwhelming sensation thinking it might be a complicated meeting that would make him sad. But the feeling came over and over again.
Ever since we got the news, we got overwhelmed by pain and everything paused. We weren't the best parents for our little one and she felt something was wrong. So last night although the Sabbat was gone I wanted to mark the day and make a wreath for our front door as well as bake a cake in honor of the harvest. So, as the sun was setting we got in the car and drove in order to pick up a few flowers, came home and made these two.
