The smell of magick

When magick happens it has a certain smell. One that won't go away for days. In my rituals i pretty much use the same herbs every time. But when magick happens the smell is different.
When i was 19 i wanted so much to fall in love. So i casted a spell to find the love of my life. Two weeks later Petros came into my life. I used a small glass then to burn what i wanted. This small glass after six years still has the smell. Yesterday i casted a spell and the same smell is all over my house. It is sweet and beautiful and when i smell it i have butterflies in my stomach.
I am not saying that when the smell is n't there the spells do n't work. But when something really powerful happens the smell occurs. Has this ever happened to you?
I feel like this thing gave me a piece of my self back. Magick fills my life, guides and protects me. I am so grateful for it. Magick is music and love. Magick is powerful words and beautiful energies, magick is colors and friends. It is the sun and the moon. The Goddess and the God. Magick is the divine inside us. Magick is my premonitions but also a great food i managed to make from scratch. Magick is candles and cauldrons but also the forest and the clouds. Magick is the smile of a child,the kiss of a teenage couple. Magick is me and you.
I hope wherever you are you will have a magickal day. Brightest blessings and love to you all.

Ramblings about blogging and stuff..

So i have been reading your blogs as usualsand found a new blog i wanted to follow. Then i pushed the dashboard button and it said: You are currently not following any blogs. I fricked out! I refreshed the page and everything came back to normal. But those ten seconds were really scary. Which showed me how attached i have become to you my blogger family.
I just want to inform Sue from the ramblings of me that i can't leave her any comments for quite some time now. And i would like to welcome you all to check out Hibiscus Moon 's new Etsy store. She has some beautiful crystalls there. I am sure you will love it. But also visit Sage's Moonstone blog "Enchanted garden studio" to vote for her so she can win this contest in Etsy. I am not sure what she will win but it will make her really happy. I hope Soraya is okay because she has n't posted for a couple of the days and this is n't like her. I also want to thank Autumn forest for the great information. She told me that what i have had experienced was sleep paralysis and i read a lot about it. It is very common. But what is very weird is that most people who experience dream paralysis, see these evil figures that try to heart them. I hope everyone will enjoy the full moon tonight and have a beautiful Esbat. Blessings .

Dream of hell

Today i am going to tell you of something i have experienced in the past. It was back when i used to live with my parents. One afternoon i was very tired and i went for a nap. Although i do not do it everyday, if i am really tired i sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon. I am very open to feeling energies and sensing things but there was nothing weird abou that afternoon.
Just after i fell asleep i started dreaming. But this dream felt very different of all the other dreams i had. It felt very..real. In my dream i opened my eyes and i was in bed. But there was a dark shadow over me that was some things laughing at me, telling me i was trapped, and i would never wake up. My stress level kept rising and i could n;t move. I was completely paralysed and more afraid than i have ever been. I could see myself i think from like a meter above covered with blankets,absolutely still. I felt some things like jolts that i was certain that those things caused and i kept trying to wake up. I was saying to myself WAKE UP and i could nt. And then suddenly i woke up totally aware of that dream-experience, frightened and not able to stay for a second in my room in case the came back.
That night i was so afraid to fall asleep and several nights later. I remember that dream so vividly as if it has just happened. I know you think it was just a dream but it felt nothing like one. Those things were real. I have never said that to anyone except P. but if you think i am crazy feel free to say it. I wont hold a grudge.
Blessings.

Being on track...

A friend told me today that i am on track. He did n't say it as a bad thing. But there are times that i feel like i have lost huge chunks of myself in the process of growing up. I guess that is no news. I guess it happens to everyone. But days like this when P. is home only to sleep for weeks because he is recording i feel a little weird. And then the most useless of all emotions kick in, quilt. I feel so quilty because i could be more understanding, because i do all this negative thoughts, because my mind wonders of to my ex. Do not get me wrong. I do not have feelings for him and i am deeply in love with P. But, my ex reminds me of a person i used to be. It seems like a different lifetime and i quess if i saw myself then i would nt recognise it.
Living alone, working,being in a serious relationship, sorting out friendships and most of all soulsearching has got me to a place that i did nt know i wanted to be. I worry about health insurance for crying out loud! It feels like i am having a middle age crisis in the age of 24! But now i have to stand on my own. There is a cost in being worry free. Someone else has to take care of you. So, why do i feel sad that if i wanted i could n;t pick up and leave? I am attached to my home, my plants, my pets, my job, my whole life. Since all this make me happy, why do i feel nostalgic of who i used to be? I used to be neurotic, self centered, insecure. I would nt go back even if you paid me. But along with all that i was more open to people and more social, more crazy, more spontanious and of course care free. I could never see myself worrying about homeowner's meetings back then. I would have a sarcastic comment for that person and i would advise it to get a life. Have you ever felt like you have grown up too fast?
Maybe i feel this way because everyone in my age i know is still living with their parents,still trying to get a degree and find out what they want to do with their lives. Not that i think i have everything sorted out. I do not. But i have goals, and i try to be practical. I have been lucky and blessed to have had some very good experiences and some awful ones that have changed me in a very young age and turned me into the person i am. I do not go clubbing anymore cause i do not like it. I do not go to spring breaks. Instead i check my budget to see if i can go on vacations and pay the bills. I guess i am on track. And i am just in a different fase than my friends. But i am happy and that is what matters.
I still want to do some crazy stuff though! For example i have never done pot and i want to try that(have you ever tried?). I want to go budgy jumping. I want to summon the dead... But most of all i want to have many more romantic dinners, laughs with Petros, s e x , maybe a new pet and some day babies.
Middle age crisis over. Hopefully i will revisit the subject in my fifties. Damn! Blogging is so much better than therapy. I hope i did n't bore you!
Brightest blessings to all.

Some peace and quiet...

Greetings to all. First of all i want to welcome my new followers. And then i have an announcement to make... I made it to Parnitha mountain. To those who do not know or remember i have a weird phobia of driving to places i am not sure how to go to. Today i actually went to the mountain and i found my special place, that i wanted so much. During winter there is a little pond right there but now it is filled with some beautiful plants with a light green color that seem so soft. The branches make a magickal "ceiling"that make some spots bright and some dark and the place seems enchanted , there are frogs, and birds, and insects.. And last but not least there is a beautiful bench for me to sit and meditate. I wrote something while i was there. I will try to translate it.
I am here to travel in your ancient ways. To reach new hights for one more time. I missed myself i lost along with the white dove.
You have to dance in the "tweens" to enter the other worlds. Where the lost souls lead and those who "know" get lost. Where your heart still beats under my hand and we still exist. Where i still exist.
I did n;t get a chance to meditate though because Phoebe was barking like crazy to another cute little dog but that's ok. Because now i will be going there quit often.
Blessings to all. Have a great day.

To keep silent..

The witch's pyramid.
Some qualities that are supposed to be a part of every witch.
To know.
To will.
To dare.
To keep silent.
To go.
I should have kept silent but i did n;t. Usually i immediately understand why people approach me. But i have been fooled and i gave some very powerful tools to a person that misused them and will probably keep doing it. So, i quess now i know.
Usually i am careful.Usually i do not give important pieces of my family tradition to people i just met. But she seemed so nice and eager to learn, she seemed sensire. But i was mistaken. I should have seen her intentions right away. And now she makes people pay her. And it is all my fault. Well, apparently she casted spells for money long before she met me,but this is not the point. She lied to me. I was so excited to connect with another witch that i failed to see that she obviously wanted to exploid me. I feel completely humiliated. I learned that she is "helping" to break up a marriage. I mean who does that?? And i told her about the box of ashes, i gave her spells,potions, of course not for something bad(although unfortunatelly my family tradition has some parts that are n't wiccan at all!), i am not a total idiot.
How could i be so wrong?
Some people say that keeping silent is the most important quality of a witch. Now i understand why they believe that. Knowledge is power and power in the wrong hands could be catastrophic!
As witches, as much as persons we learn by making mistakes. And this one is definitely an opportunity to learn, one that i will make sure to take. But right now i am feeling like this is the biggest mistake i have ever made as a witch(actually it is the second biggest. Once in highschool i have casted a spell for my best friend to break up with his girlfriend because i was in love with him, but i was only 16 and stupid, and of course it came back to bite me in the a..). But now i am supposed to be older and wiser.Hah!
Weirdly enough, i am not angry at her at all. It makes me sad that she was n;t who i thought she was but i am glad i see the truth now. So i can learn and grow(as soon as i stop kicking myself!)
That 's all folks.
Blessings

Happy Lammas

Happy Lammas to all with wishes of prosperity,health and joy.
Brihtest blessings.