1.12.15

Thyroid operation

Greetings dear blogfriends.  I know I have been missing for a while now,  but I had to contemplate some things and I wasn't quite talkative.  It turns out that my operation was not considered preventive anymore but therapeutic.  It was not safe anymore and I had to take the big step.
It was hard the first couple of days because I had to get over my greatest fears, including memories that have haunted me ever since I was a small child.  But when the first wave of panic subsided a sense of calm washed over me. I am not afraid anymore.  I am finally free. The operation is scheduled in a week as long as I am over my cold where I will undergo a full thyroidectomy.  They are expecting to find some malignancy,  but I don't believe this will be the case. I do believe it would eventually turn malignant,  but I will be clean. I have kept it a secret from almost everybody, but I am ready to break the news. For the last month I have been a wreck, before my exams I had this horrible feeling steering in my gut. But as soon as I got the results I made an appointment with my new endocrinologist,  two days later with the surgent and I set the date for just 12 days later. Although I have been running from this decision for the last sixteen years,  once my mind was set I put everything in motion,  before anyone had any time to adjust.  My mom and husband freaked out, but I only lost my cool every time my voice was mentioned.  But even this is in the past, I am serene now. The bad feeling is over now that I took the decision.  I know everything will go well. I am sleeping better than I have in years and I have faith in my fate. I see my path clearly and I know it is different from my mom's.  I knew it for a while now that this was how it was going to go and I kept fighting it. But this is for the best.
Right now I am nursing myself back to health from a mild cold.My surgent(who by the way is very Mc Steamy!) told me to take comtrex to speed the process along, which I think makes me kind of drowsy. If you have not tried it yet I fully recommend it.  This is what drugs must feel like. Also last Thursday I threw my back out again,  so as you imagine there has been a lot of resting on heating pads and well, gilmore girls.. Have you heard they are bringing them back?
I intend on decorating our Yule tree this Sunday with friends and family although noone has been informed of my plans.  Right nowI am watching the most glorious sunset.  The sky is dressed in the most beautiful colors and everything looks pink.
Be blessed,  be loved and be free.


9 comments:

Leeanna said...

Oh sweetie! I feel so bad. Here you are facing surgery and I'm wallowing in hate that my husband gave me his cold and it's turning into bronchitis. You have it worse than I do, but you are the bravest woman I ever met. Brightest blessings my dear. I know you are in great hands with Dr. Mc Steamy.

Toni said...

You sound strong and committed! Good for you. I read an article by Hugh Laurie this morning in which he basically says, waiting to do anything until your ready is not productive and nothing would get done. Just committing to it makes you ready! Good luck. Will definitely keep sending healing energy.

Ellen in Oregon said...

While facing any surgery is can be anxiety provoking, it sounds like you have adopted a great attitude and overcome your fears. That attitude will really help you do great with surgery & any further treatment.

My Brother had 2 surgeries to remove his thyroid 6 weeks ago. First they took out half and when the pathology came back as being carcinoma, they removed the other half a week later. He had a rare type of thyroid cancer (Hurthel cell). He said neither surgery was painful other than a mild sore throat when he woke up from the anesthesia. He spent the night in the hospital & felt fine when he went home the next morning. He didn't even have to use the pain meds the surgeon discharged him with since he really had no pain. He had some concerns about his vocal cords possibly being damaged during surgery, but they were fine. In the weeks since his surgery, my Brother has commented that he is amazed at how many people he knows who have had thyroid removal surgery for various reasons. He is now on an iodine-free diet for a week & then he will receive a therapeutic dose of iodine that is supposed to kill off any remaining cancer cells. Other than taking a thyroid hormone replacement pill every day, he will be fine.

I know you will do well, whether your growth is found to be cancerous or benign. The important thing is that you have anything potentially harmful removed so you can live your life to it's fullest. Your positive outlook really will help you fly through the surgery and heal. I am very happy that you were able to face your fears & take care of an important health matter.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Good for you for having the courage to do what needs to be done! I call upon the Great Goddess Brigid to guide you safely through the surgery and heal you quickly!

angela said...

Hun I'm so proud of you. You made the decision and you are doing what's right for you. Sending you all the love and light I have. I'll be thinking of you. Warmest blessings my Greek witch sister xxx

Bouncin Barb said...

I am happy for you. If you feel peaceful about everything then so be it. I'm sending you love and healing energies for a quick recovery. Namaste ~

Shadow said...

You project peace. It is very freeing when a decision is made. It's half the battle won. You have my every ounce of strength and love, all will be well! *hugs*

Magic Love Crow said...

You go girl! I am so proud of you! Sending healing prayers and Big Hugs! I know everything will be a success! Take Care of you!!!

Magaly Guerrero said...

I'm glad you feel at peace with what's to come. I was very nervous about having tummy surgery, too, but after having done it I feel much better. I hope the cold is completely gone and your back is healed and that you get the best outcome after the procedure.

I will keep you in my thoughts. ♥