19.9.14

Thyroid biopsy, crying like an infant, Grey's Anatomy and astrology..(yeap, that's about it!)

Greetings my loves! How are you? First of all i want to thank you all for all your warm wishes and caring thoughts. Right back at you. I can not stress enough, what a positive impact your comments had these days that i was so stressed out.
I just returned from my biopsy. I completely and utterly embarrassed myself at the diagnostic center because after the whole exam, i was talking with the doctor and he did the mistake to utter the word thyroidectomy,  which is the removal of the gland and  i burst into tears. I am sure some of you remember the fact that i cry like a little baby in front of people and it is completely out of my control. By far the most embarrassing thing about me. Everybody there must have thought that i am dieing. But the thing is that even with all the worried looks from the doctors i know in my heart of hearts that i am going to get a good diagnosis. What i am worried about is the fact that they would want me to remove my thyroid just to be safe.
I am not afraid of all the complications and all the serious life changing facts that come along with it. But there is a big chance that i won't be able to sing again. And that idea is something that made me sob uncontrollably various moments in the past week. I will not do it. I will check my gland as often as i have to with u/s and bloodwork and i will let them stick those huge needles into my throat as many times as they want to, but not that.
As soon as i made the decision, a couple of hours ago, the weight from my chest lifted and life was beautiful again. If things are not what i know them to be, then i will do whatever necessary(i am not completely immature!). I have once before told you about my Saturn in Scorpio and my family's curse with everything medical. I will not go under the knife until absolutely necessary and that's it.. I would make a great Grey's Anatomy episode, now that i think of it.. The superstitious soprano, that does not want to undergo surgery..I can see how Alex Carev  would get completely frustrated by my lack of common sense, and my character would be a hottie that dresed like a hippie, because Hollywood loves stereotypes..
And on a somewhat metaphysical note, be extra careful these days. There is an astrological tendency, that leads us towards little accidents. Just this morning i hit my foot really hard and i can barely walk and i burned myself with a tomato sauce i was making. A couple of days ago my husband hit his toe as well and he is still walking with a tiny limp and yesterday evening he cut himself with broken glass. And i hear many stories about mishaps that can be very annoying. So, stay warm, disinfect your hands often and be extra careful!
I love you all, so very much!

3 comments:

Leeanna said...

Dear, you have every right to break down and cry when you get news like that. I would have done the same. Hearing threatening news about your body is totally mind numbing and scary. So don't you dare apologize or feel bad about crying. You have a legitimate reason. It's just plain scary for you right now.

On the other hand I will lite my healing-love white and yellow candles for you. Hope everything goes well and that you get great news.
Love for you and your wonderful family.

mxtodis123 said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how scary these things are. As for crying, I am right there with you. I walk into a dentist's office and immediately the tears start to flow. I can't stop them. The nurse has to hold my hand when I am in the chair.
Mary

Magaly Guerrero said...

You will fight for what you need and you'll do what must be done. You are brave, smart and your soul will guide you. I've been doing everything I can to avoid surgery since, well... I can't remember. The idea of not being able to use my shoulder (of not being able to write like I'm used to) terrifies me. Like you, I will do what I must if the time comes when no other options are available to me. But I won't let them cut me right away.

And about crying, well... I burst into tears after my GI doctor told me I had to give another stool sample. How is that for gloriously crappy? *pun totally intended* I think life just hits us so very hard and so very often every now and then, that we need to burst and cry. A good cry (or many) cleanses the soul.

Keep on keeping on, dear love. Sending you healing hugs. ♥♥♥