26.1.13

Keep out! Long rant

Greetings blogfolks! Yesterday was the first night of the full moon with two more remaining and i had a blast!   I was working till 11 pm and when all my clients left i got to do some magick. Firstly, i made a rosemary pentagram and a lavender wreath that i left as offerings with a huge piece of apple cake at the crossroads. This is the way i thank the Goddess for my baby  since the night of the conception. Well, the rosemary pentagram is what i usuially do but i was feeling  a bit more crafty yesterday! Then i smudged my home with sage, as always deiseil beginning from the Eastern room and making a full cycle. At the same time i was saying my favourite cleansing spell. I usually do not do cleansings on the full moon, but the last few days a lot of people have entered my home all with their own set of problems and it was more than needed. And finally at the end i cast a prosperity spell, that i recently written and i absolutely love while burning some incense i made last month.
After all that i cooked dinner, watered all the plants(all one million of them!),fed my pets and finally at around 12.30 am i was off my feet eating while watching vampire diaries. I waited for my husband to return from work till 4.15 am and we finally slept around 5. So, needless to say today i woke up at 2.30 pm and now three hours later i am still on my couch drinking coffee trying to unwind from this past week.
:Lately, i am feeling that although i am constantly busy that i do not do my best. This past week i worked crazy hours but i have n't studied at all for my final exam for my classical singing diploma, besides not missing any of my classes. Also, i feel like i have n't worked out enough except some really long walks  i took every day. I feel like i could have eaten better although i am on day 5 after eliminating sugar from my diet. I went to buy some baby stuff but i stress about all the things i should have already done. It seems that if i do good in one part of my life, everything else just suffers. I can't help but feel guilty when on my spare time i am not productive. Like yesterday night instead of resting i could have studied, or meditated, or done some house chores, or make a baby musical playlist, or something along the lines. As i write all this down i understand that this is not a healthy mindset. At the very least, it is a very hard place out there, hostile and dark. Whenever we try to turn it into a happy place, full of light, it is nothing short of a miracle. When we try to create a smile, for us or those we love, or even those we barely know, when we do something to improve ourselves, lives, or surroundings, even the little things, we manifest greatness.
So, i should stop focusing on what i do n't do and really pay attention in all my tiny victories. This week, i helped a lot of people through my work. I enjoyed many long walks. I cut off sugar. I bought some new clothes for me and a few baby essentials. I worked hard on my classes. I made for me and my family many healthy meals. I spent time with my mom. I connected with the Spirit. I talked and sung to my baby. I watched a movie with my husband.. We came up with a name for our baby. I gave a lot of love to my pets. I arranged my closet. And, why not, i found myself some time to relax and recharge.
 I have to accept the fact that i deserve a slow day. Some way, somehow..
Blessings and love and happy full moon!

8 comments:

Leeanna Henderson said...

Please don't be so hard on yourself if you don't get things done. You're entitled to down time now and then.

angela said...

Yes you do deserve to rest. Do it now while you can a baby is a lot of work.

Farmer Jen said...

Sounds like you figured it out! I enjoyed reading this post. Your energy shines through brightly! You as a woman, wife & now a mom, tend to everyone else all day long. Sometimes you need to relax and tend to your own needs. Fill your own cup so that you may then fill others'. And I appreciate the reminder, as I too, need to relax and tend myself more often. Thank you for the reminder.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Embrace your spare time, your time off, your down time, your slow time . . . no one can go, go, go 24/7. You deserve to rest!

Diandra said...

Taking time for yourself is not a waste of time. Especially now that so much is about to change. You don't have to be superwoman, you know. ^^

Magaly Guerrero said...

Claim some me time, take a rest, and enjoy the smell of rosemary and lavender. Yum ;-)

Hindustanka said...

Hello! Glad you found time to tell us what;s going on in your busy life. I think you shall concentrate on yours and your baby's health. I loved the lines about singing to your child...
take care and slow down, you deserve it.
Blessings back to you, Anna.

Dede said...

It sounds to me like you got a whole lot done! There are only so many hours in a day and yes, you do NEED rest. What doesn't get done today, I have learned this, will be there tomorrow. Have no worries about chores getting done, they always have and always will get done. Wishing you a stress free week!

(((HUGS)))