I have written the first line like a million times. You can say i am a little down today. My long face can almost touch the keyboard. I am definetely out of balance. If it was someone else i can almost see my self writing down the prescription. A hot levander bath, some soothing music, candles, burning incense and just the right amount of meditation.Yeap, that would do the trick. But i do not even have the energy to relax. How amazingly selfdestructive is this? And while Pms is showing its ugly face and huge amounts of chocolate are being consumed, my boyfriend(with whom of course i am in a huge fight with!) won't let me wallow like i want to. UGH! I know...I 'm such a sunshine!
Blessed be!
Oh and premenstrual syndrome is a b..!


The Well Of Stars.

I know a hidden well of clearest water. Naught by the coping of delicate pink onyx is visible until the secret sping be touched.

Then beware! For above the entrance hangs a fiery sword.

Few find this Well or know its Secret;there are but two roads leading thereto.

From the broad Mountain summit we may search the slopes for a vision of the Woodland Delta where grow the Trees of Eternity, or we may journey through the Valley between the Ivory Hills-if we fear not the purple shadows and the black pit-fall.

From Thee we came ; to Thee we return, O Well of living Stars!
Is n't it beautiful? I do not know who wrote it unfortunately, but it made my day so i thought i should post it!
Blessed be!!!


Bite your tongue!

I am a psychic.In my job i have seen some pretty weird things and i had to say some difficult things also. As time passes,it gets easier to give somebody bad news. Your boyfriend has an affair.You are pregnant. The father of your baby is not your husband. There is a sickness in your future etc. But today i honestly did not know what to do. This nice lady came by and wanted to check out some things about her kids and husband. It was nice because they are a great family loving, caring and kind of crazy-my type of crazy, so i had a great time. But suddenly i realised that her son is gay and she seemed to have no idea. She even asked me if he had a girlfriend. He has not said anything and he is not about to.
My first thought was to say nothing because they might not be ready to handle it and i might cause trouble. Besides, he will come out when he feels like it and it would be better to hear it from him.
On the other hand, i believe that every information the universe gives us is for the best. There were reasons of course to keep this for myself but my obligation was towards her. Besides, if i told her , all of the sudden this huge problem could disappear and they would live happily ever after.
I was rambling inside my head for some time now and i really had to make a quick decision about the whole thing. I got nervous and started blaming her for the fact that her son was too afraid to tell her. What a horrible mother she must be and a homophobic one.
Soon i realised i was being judgemental so i could avoid the whole decision making...when finally i said it. "Your son is gay!" I should have prepared her a little bit, i know, but i was stressed.
She seemed rather calm. Surprised, but calm. As it turned out she knew but she did not know how to speak to him, and then the easy part came: giving advice. I am good at it, it is my life that i can not handle.


What do people do in the name of religion!

I have had a horrible e mail with the pictures of some poor kid in Iran being tortured for stealing. What do people do in the name of religion?!! All religions start the same way and yet so many atrocities happen in the name of god. The spiritual journey of any kind should be about love and making something better of yourself. I get angry and i am trying to focus on beautiful things that make all the rest to be worthed it.
I came down with a cold and I am spending my day drinking camomile tea and hugging my cat and as always the cold gave me the opportunity to do some self reflection and soul searching. Our mortality comes in mind and the ways we are trying to reach a more divine side of us. I am wiccan as I probably said before and to me this is the whole point. Improving my self so in this lifetime i will make a step forward big or small, just by learning who i am and understanding what i want to be.
Wicca is a natural based religion but i am a city girl always wanting to be more in touch with nature. Long walks in a forest or by the sea seem to calm me so much but i do not find enough time to spend in the country, just to recharge.Although, every now and then, i gather my friends and go to the beach for some meditation, they call me crazy but they enjoy it too.
When you show to your friends how different you are and what you believe in you can get all different kind of reactions, from excitement, to uncomfortable laughs or in some few cases the lost soul speach. As time passes by, you get used to it a little bit, but when someone you are close to and you love and trust has a weird or even bad reaction towards your believes, it can get really painful. I recently got hurt this way and i am still trying to get pass it and work it through .But even that i see it as an opportunity to prove diversity and heterogenity is not something "bad"!
If anyone gets to read this ...blessed be.


Like a journal...

I just want to lay down some thoughts because i am feeling lost. Since i begun my spiritual journey i feel i am getting more and more isolated. Even from the people that are close to me. There is all that misunderstanding about wicca and paganism and sometimes i get frustrated. It is worthy of course of the trouble,but sometimes i do not feel like explaining myself and what i believe. Right now i feel like i am trying to hide behind words.The anonymity is liberating,but still i can not express what i want.You would think that in the year 2009, people would be more openminded but it is like nothing has changed since the dark ages, and i have to hide so i do not get burned.I am telling you, i have been asked if i worship satan and i think any minute now i 'll hear someone crying out "witch" while throwing holy water all over my face. Well, that 's ok! I am going to try to be more positive and less judgemental. Blessed be everybody!