Embarassing facts about me

Greetings blogfriends. Forgive me for not posting two balance weekly posts on time. I have been a little stressed over studying and singing. Yesterday late in the afternoon, i have been audited by the greek IRS. It was so scary because i am really bad with numbers but it turns out i did really good. They freaked me out because they thought i should have a book that i did n't, but it turns out they were wrong and i was right. Thank Goddess for that. Have i mentioned that my worst fear is any bureaucratic activity? When it was my turn to be our building's manager i was an emotional wreck. I was constantly frightened of making horrible mistakes and losing things that mattered. So, yesterday when they told me(they sounded sure of it) that it was illegal not to have a book that i have n't ever heard of, i broke into tears.
This is another of my worst qualities as a person. No matter who is in front of me, no matter if they do n't know me at all and no matter if the moment is totally wrong i cry like a baby when i feel like it. I can not control it. It is the most humiliating and embarrassing of all experiences, and that comes from a person who takes two steps and falls down. When my husband had to leave for a year for his mandatory military training, i cried everywhere i was, for the first couple of months. Once in the music school i begun crying, rather loudly , out of the blue and the owner explained to a stranger-client:" She misses her boyfriend who is in the Army" And he responded: "I know, i was here yesterday and she was crying for the same reason!" It is like a tap of water opens and there is no stopping it. I try to have happy thoughts, i even make jokes in my head, but not once have i mastered the fine art of...adulthood!
Right now, i am trying to envision life as a river that is taking me to beautiful things and whatever obstacles i encounter i just flow around them. I find little treasures every other moment, and i do not care about my humiliating habits. I do n't, i do n't! Our spirituality really disappears when we focus on the bad stuff. So, i am focusing on the good things, like the fact that today i am having a roadtrip and i am going to spend my day with friends and family! The memory of yesterday keeps fading and fading!
Nope! Big fat lie! Big, fat, cry baby, lie!
Be blessed and forgive me for that post!



Grammy said...

Sending u a big hug, and lots of love. It is ok to cry. you have to release emotions or stress will eat u up. And it is ok to be u and live the way u want.just know every thing will be ok. Have fun on your trip. Sending u happy thoughts.
now go laugh and play
:) E

Hailey Marie said...

I've actually found that more I've grown, the more I'm touched by various things and thus, the more the tears start to flow.

You could tell me a sad story 7 years ago and I would be completely unaffected. Sappy/sad romance movies? Nothin'.

Channel those tears and all of that energy in them into your singing or another creative outlet. When you think you're going to cry, and you think it's an inappropriate time, do something else. Sing, smile, recite a poem/prayer in your head.

Best wishes and brightest blessings.

Sherry )O( AutumnTurtle said...

Hugs from Canada!
Try praying to Kuan Yin, she is the Goddess of compassion and when I was in a very dark place, crying all the time she came to me many times. She takes away your tears and crys for you.

Magaly Guerrero said...

No forgiveness necessary, luv. Glad you did so well with your audit--I'm terrible about those things and tend to stare at the auditors threateningly, until they get so annoyed that they ask me if I mind leaving the room. Of course I tell them "Yes, I mind." And they press their lips and try working faster. I pretend we're having a grand time... in extreme case I whistle. Now that I think about it, I feel a bit terrible for them... nah!

rose of Walk in the Woods, LLC said...

Go ahead and cry. Tears are the cleaning waters of creation, bathing your being with Mama Ocean's love. ((hugs))