Yesterday, I went to a doctor that prescribed me a hormonal medication that I felt was right to me. He also said to me that he thought that my case did not require rai treatment. I already knew that, but since my first doctor said so, I just couldn't just not do it. It would always be at the back of my mind. When there is a malignancy involved how can you not choose to be better safe than sorry? But what he said to me was that I am completely cancer free. That he strongly believed I will remain so for the rest of my life and that I don't have to check it regularly as I would with the most aggressive scans that require radioactive iodine in small doses. I just have to be very careful with my hormone levels that have to remain at certain levels. And I will have to check a particular hormone once a year to see if it is in the normal range. Other than that I am good as new(well, getting there).
This whole thing showed me many things. It made me stop being in denial about who is really there for me and who is really my friend. This is invaluable because the love I received from certain people warmed my heart and gave my little family so much strength. Although I only shared it with a few people, while others kind of found out on their own, I felt cared for. I literally felt that since so many people were so worried I didn't have to be(which sounds completely crazy, but I can't explain it in any other way). But also there were a few people that were completely distant and cold. These were only people that had to find out and it was completely expected. All but two of them. This was one of those situations were you realize you were holding on to friendships that were over and you didn't want to accept it. When the realization occurs though, it is very freeing. I can now emotionally invest in those people that gave me such unconditional love and warmth.
I'm blessed with so much love from friends, family, and you guys! You gave me laughs, smiles and tears of joy. You have touched my soul so many times. Thank you for that. Anyway, I have some magical news that I want to share with you. I dedicated myself to Brighid. This was coming for a long time, but I was always reluctant. During these hard times I felt I needed her strength and light and I am so happy I did. This opened up my spiritual practice in an unexpected way. I feel more connected and grounded than ever. It made me trust my intuition even more and allow myself to be guided and protected. I have a lot to share with you guys again and luckily this blog will stop feeling like a greys anatomy episode. Be blessed, be loved and be happy!
at 4:34:00 PM