29.4.13

Baby upgrade and cry-baby mommy!

Greetings dear blogfriends. Beltane is almost here and there was n't ever inside me such a need for celebration. It will be our third year anniversary, since we had our handfasting on the 1st of May of 2010. Ever since we renew our vows to each other and celebrate our union, each year at this day. But on this particular sacred day of fertility and love i also want to connect to the Goddess and pray to Her.
You see last week we went to the doctor for our 3d trimester doppler and although a week before the baby was at a perfectly normal weight, at that point she was almost at the lowest of the normal range. So, in this week it seemed as if she didn't gain any weight at all(unlike her mother!). Today only 5 days later,  we went for a u/s and she was 200 grams bigger ,but still a bit small. I spent these 5 days on bed rest and i consumed a bit more protein than usual(100-120grams) and it seemed to have helped. So i will be resting as much as possible and will keep eating the extra protein(all hail cottage cheese) to help her grow.  To be sure today they gave me a cortisone shot in case she has to come early, which is supposed to help her lungs develop faster.
After we returned from the doctor, and i have stopped crying, i drew a beautiful triskellion, with three pretty spirals on my belly (this particular symbol has a great connection to pregnancy, it is supposed to represent the 9 months of   pregnancy, each spiral stands for three months) and prayed to the Goddess to help her grow.
In every other sense she is doing fine. The blood she is receiving is great, as is the amniotic fluid and she is kicking like a professional kick boxer, making my belly jump in weird ways. Everyone is telling me that there is no reason to worry, and i feel it in my heart of hearts that she is just fine, but since i am hormonal i cry every time i think about it. And i have cried multiple times in front of the doctors, nurses,midwives and the rest of the personel. I can't help it...For a few seconds i open my eyes as wide as i can trying to calm myself but as soon as the first tear falls there is no stopping. Even as i remember it i am welling up. It is ridiculous! The worst is that whenever someone told me not to cry, i cried even harder. Unfortunately i have always been unable to control my tears even in social situations that this was preposterous and the humiliation of these moments haunts me even years later. But lately it is just unbelievable. I am like a little child that was denied ice cream.
But i digress, this Beltane our prayers will be about our daughter. So, everybody please think fattening thoughts!

10 comments:

angela said...

Happy beltain to you. Yes it the hormones doing it, but also it's a profound experience growing a baby. Let those tears flow. I will be sending lots of love and light to your little one. Blessed be xxxx

Danni said...

I'm sending lots and lots of love and fattening thoughts your way! May your Beltane be blessed and your baby girl be healthy as can be!

*hugs* from a fellow cry baby. xox

mxtodis123 said...

Of course, you worry, but all will be fine. Follow doctor's orders. They know what they are talking about. Meanwhile, I'll be sending positive thoughts your way.
Mary

Wicked Witch of the North said...

Listen to your intuition. If you feel as though she is o.k. then allow your mind to tune in to that. I went into preterm labor at just 28 weeks pregnant. I ended up carrying to term after 12 weeks of complete bedrest. I attribute deep breathing and accepting that Mother had control and I had none. I did what I needed to do on the Earthly plane (eating right, bedrest, drinking water like crazy) then let go. When I felt the anxiety and tears, I breathed and realized that the anxiety would go right to my son. You and she are going to be fine.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Chow down on as much lovely protein as you can! And cry as much as you want -- hormones are like a giant permission slip to cry! Beltane and anniversary blessings to you.

Hindustanka said...

Hello, dear! Glad to know that you both are doing just fine. You shall rest more of course and don't stress out on small things. Ohh..when you told me about crying easily in any situation..I am also like this, so probably will have cry-baby moments when pregnant too? nevertheless, enjoy your little one's kicks (I don't know though if they can be pleasant) and take care of your self! Blessings and best wishes for Beltane!

Diandra said...

I am sure everything will be fine. Best wishes to your family! Enjoy your anniversary!

Leeanna Henderson said...

Happy Anniversary Blessings my dear!

Don't worry about crying. It's the Goddesses way of expressing joy through you. It could also be hormones going crazy, yeah, it's the hormones.

I have a feeling your little Witchlet is going to be a force to reckon with.

Grammy said...

You have all my thoughts and love too. I send you both virtual hugs. She will grow strong and healthy in no time. I have faith in her. Happy anniversary too.

Magaly Guerrero said...

I'm sending hugs infused with love and strength for you both, and for the daddy whom I'm sure is going half-mad making sure his lady and his wee goddess are fine.

Cry if you must, luv; no shame. And let the Goddess hold you both. She will come out kicking and grinning ;-)