Greetings dear blogfriends. Beltane is almost here and there was n't ever inside me such a need for celebration. It will be our third year anniversary, since we had our handfasting on the 1st of May of 2010. Ever since we renew our vows to each other and celebrate our union, each year at this day. But on this particular sacred day of fertility and love i also want to connect to the Goddess and pray to Her.
You see last week we went to the doctor for our 3d trimester doppler and although a week before the baby was at a perfectly normal weight, at that point she was almost at the lowest of the normal range. So, in this week it seemed as if she didn't gain any weight at all(unlike her mother!). Today only 5 days later, we went for a u/s and she was 200 grams bigger ,but still a bit small. I spent these 5 days on bed rest and i consumed a bit more protein than usual(100-120grams) and it seemed to have helped. So i will be resting as much as possible and will keep eating the extra protein(all hail cottage cheese) to help her grow. To be sure today they gave me a cortisone shot in case she has to come early, which is supposed to help her lungs develop faster.
After we returned from the doctor, and i have stopped crying, i drew a beautiful triskellion, with three pretty spirals on my belly (this particular symbol has a great connection to pregnancy, it is supposed to represent the 9 months of pregnancy, each spiral stands for three months) and prayed to the Goddess to help her grow.
In every other sense she is doing fine. The blood she is receiving is great, as is the amniotic fluid and she is kicking like a professional kick boxer, making my belly jump in weird ways. Everyone is telling me that there is no reason to worry, and i feel it in my heart of hearts that she is just fine, but since i am hormonal i cry every time i think about it. And i have cried multiple times in front of the doctors, nurses,midwives and the rest of the personel. I can't help it...For a few seconds i open my eyes as wide as i can trying to calm myself but as soon as the first tear falls there is no stopping. Even as i remember it i am welling up. It is ridiculous! The worst is that whenever someone told me not to cry, i cried even harder. Unfortunately i have always been unable to control my tears even in social situations that this was preposterous and the humiliation of these moments haunts me even years later. But lately it is just unbelievable. I am like a little child that was denied ice cream.
But i digress, this Beltane our prayers will be about our daughter. So, everybody please think fattening thoughts!
29.4.13
Baby upgrade and cry-baby mommy!
10.4.13
Happy Esbat!!!
Hey blogfriends! I am down with a cold. It is not a bad one and i can only blame myself and my poor judgment over clothing , but i can still nag, can't i? I only hope that my voice will be back by Saturday because i have to sing. If that had happened last year i would lose a lot of sleep over it and how it would affect my performance but now i could care less. If i manage to stay stress free at the recital which has never happened in the past i will be very proud of myself.
I had some contractions last week and my doctor prescribed me magnesium and ever since i am very calm, relaxed and i sleep for at least 10 hours a day. If i knew that, i would have started taking the stuff many years ago.Before magnesium i was freaking out over what i will make for dinner. Now i watch birthing videos with breakfast and i am absolutely cool with it. For those of you completely grossed out.. i am sorry!
Tonight is the New Moon! I have n't trimmed my hair as i wanted, because i was bored, but i will do a couple of spells that my home desperately needs. Cleansing in particular is number one on the list. Recently, everything that can break down, did. The washing mashine was n't washing, the vaccuum was n't vaccuming, my computer still can not turn off without pressing the button for like half an hour and the freezer does n't make ice anymore. Also, Petros caught a cold then i decided all of the sudden i do not need winter clothes anymore and i also caught a cold and Tsitsini(our female cat) had a tooth problem. So, smudging, praying, chanting and potion making is what the night enstores for me.
Then i am going to prepare a salad(i buy them already clean and chopped, but i clean them again and add a few more ingredients) and Petros will make the chicken. After we eat i will go around the house and pick up all the used clinex tissues(you can't possibly imagine the mess i made) and those will be my chores for the day. I am sure you are all impressed by my energy levels and my house cleaning skills. I know.. I am awesome! But hey, i did defrag my computer. that's something, right?
Now i have to go and prepare my gazillionth chamomile tea for the day and crack open a new box of klinex. Good times!
Be blessed, be loved and be healthy(do not get fooled by the Sun.. He is lieing!!)
8.4.13
Couch potato here! Hello world!
Greetings blogfriends. How have you been? I have been a bit out of sorts lately! I was in a very unproductive mode. I spend a lot of time on the couch when i was not working. Baby is coming in a couple of months and my belly now has "alien" properties. You do not have to put your hand on it to feel her, you can just look! She has scared me a couple of times with the intensity of the movements. It feels like she is exploring. While she is bouncing around inside me, i am the less fit i have ever been in my entire life. But what is important is that we are both healthy and well.
The new moon is approaching and there is a lot to be done. First of all i need to trim a little bit my hair because they are full of split ends and they are kind of uneven. Then the house needs cleansing because there are a lot of stagnant negative energies in here. I even found a hand full of cat hair in a protective potion i always have outside my window. Which i still can not figure out how they got in there because the cats can not go there. Very weird and definitely a bad sign. In those particular potions, it is always a bad sign when dead bugs end up in them( as well as anything dead or dirty). But the amount of cat hair was weird. It was like someone was collecting hair of my cats for months and stuffed them in the glass. I am telling you.. weird!
Anyway...The weather here is lovely. Beautiful butterflies are happily flying everywhere! My plants seem content(although they still need a lot of work and i still can not help them with that, they just have to be patient and wait till i can do stuff again without feeling pain!). My pets love spending time in the balcony under the Sun. And last but not least my appartment everyday looks a little less like a refugee camp. So, all is well i guess! I just miss moving around, but i will have plenty of that once tiny one gets here.
So, all of you cyberfriends out there, enjoy the Spring(or Autumn if you are on the other side of the world) for me. Go outside and have fun. Take long walks and take in the smells. And every once in a while post a picture or two so i can live vicoriously through your blogs.
Lots and lots of love!!