Have the merriest of Christmas...

..with love and light!!!

Choosing light over darkness sometimes takes all you got

Greetings blogfriends. How are you? I have beeen away for so long! Melina Nefeli is growing up so quickly she now wears clothes for 18-24 months old and she is only 5! She knows the words milk, mom, dad and hi(in greek of course).  She has two best friends in the form of the two most caring and loving cats that constantly compete for her attention.
This last couple of days something sad happened to me. I realised just now that i have never talked here about my relationship with my father. It has always been a really strenuous one. He has a bad temper and it was really hard growing up with a person that constantly calls you and your mother names, yells and throws stuff and threatens you with physical violence(that he has not acted upon). His episodes happen completely unexpectedely. The minute you let your guard down, show him affection or even think of giving him another chance he has a violent outburst. In the five months of my daughter's life he has n't seen her more than fifteen times and in that little time he had with her he managed to cause the three most negative experiences of her life. The first when she was a newborn he started yelling at my mother because she said they should leave. The second time he came with my mom to take the dog and he was waiting in the car and my mom stayed a few more minutes. He repeatedly pressed the bell(who he knows is a very loud one) for over thrity times(probably a lot more he was doing it for several minutes), making both the pediatrician and a client of mine who were here to ask worryingly what is wrong. And the third one and last one ever when he came with my mom two days ago and while i was feeding the baby he started calling me names and cursing loudly in my apartment building and in front of the baby  because half an hour earlier i told him not to kiss the baby's hands because she puts her in the mouth. This kind of language has never been spoken in my house before. This kind of yelling never took place in the past in my house and i promised myself that my baby will not see that kind of ugliness again. So, i cut him off. I told my mother i never want to see him again in my life. My baby will know only love and compassion.
I feel free and calm and i knew when it happpened that it was for the best. A true blessing in disguise. Somehow, although for years we were astranged, through my mom he found a way back in my life. Now i do not have to put up with him ever again.
The minute he left and i put the baby to sleep i cast every cleansing, protection spell known to man.  Before i begun i was so angry at him.After that i was exhausted but the rage was gone.I even felt sorry for him and all the things he lost and will lose from our lives. I was calm by then and i knew what needed to be done. The Goddess was truly in my heart. And the next morning i turned a new page in my life.
There were a few moments that the light and darkness fought inside me. And he is the only person in my life that made me want to use dark magic(several times in my life i had thoughts i am not proud of). I am so glad i did not feed that endless cycle of hate and i just let go. Now there is room in my heart only for love and that would not be the case if i chose to channel my anger into something bad. That was n't always the case.
When i was a teenager my mom and i were reading a book of magic while taking breakfast(we were weird like that). And there was a dark spell to cause harm(i do not remember the specifics). Only like many others that it had blanks were you put the name of the person and the name of its mother. And i did not perform the ritual i just read it outloud with his name in the blanks. My mom freaked out. We were n't studying dark magic to cast it but to know to protect from it. Within the hour he came home violently ill. I was amazed. I did not do the ritual, i was not even concentrated when i read  the spell. But there was all this residual anger lingering, waiting to take form that it made it easy. I read the reversal and my mom was cleansing our home for months after that and i never did anything like that ever again. But i remember how easy it felt. I do not want to admit it but i liked it.. It felt like i was gaining control of my life when in fact i was losing it.
When i felt i could not protect my baby from him all those feelings resurfaced and i had to focus on the people i love and everything i care about to not get sucked into the darkness. I am so happy i did. Hopefully everyone will move on now.

Mabon is coming..

..and decorations have to be taken out., pies to be baked, wreaths to get made, a baby to get dressed in an orange outfit and a pumpkin to be bought and then  transformed into breads and cakes..
Are n't you excited?
I can almost smell the cinnamon, the cloves and the nutmed. Mmm!

Sleepless in Athens and an award!

Greetings blogfriends! How are you? I know i ve been gone for a while. It is n't because of the baby though. I have been kind of freaked and i could not write here. My thyroid is a bit out of order and i feel a bit more stress than usual(which is a lot!!!). The hormone imbalance does n't allow me much sleep and i get more and more frustrated. When i get into bed all the crazy thoughts enter my mind and when i manage to shut them out i still can't get some shut eye. It used to be a lot worse before my doctor changed the dosage of my thyroid medication and i used to obsess about a biopsy i will be doing soon. Now i understand no sleep plus hormones equals crazy lady roaming the house at middle of the night thinking of life insurance policies. Whoever said Leos are overdramatic was obviously mistaken..We are the coolest, most collected of people!
Melina Nefeli is growing like a weed! Everyday i have to put away clothes that are too small for her. She is 10 weeks old now. She says gala(oh well, it sounds more like gallgaea) which is greek for milk. We keep repeating it to her and i am pretty confident she will learn how to say Shut Uup next. Unlike her mom she is sleeping all night long. By the way, i did n't see that coming . The baby to be calm and quiet  and me giving new meaning to the word insomnia. Soon, my dosage will be once again changed and i will find solace into Orheus's arms.
Leanna passed on to me an award. If you do not know her yet, get over to her blog fast, she is the funniest woman alive! I have n't done an award in quite some time because i am very lazy, but tonight i felt like it. I was n't going to sleep so, what the hell?

By the rules, i have to tell you 7 things about me that i have n't shared with you in the past.
1. I am lucky enough to know my husband and my best friends since high school. One of them just moved to the Netherlands to study Arts and i do not know what i will do without her.
2. I am a compulsive reader. Even if i do not like a book i have to read it to the end. My favourite author is Marquez, his books have turned me autistic from time to time.
3. You all know i love plants, but when i was a child i used to hate the gardening chores my father used to give me. I did n't appreciate his garden either.
4. I do not like movies , i love watching tv shows. Whenever i have time i just love watching many episodes in a row. My sleepless nights were filled with teen wolf, drop dead diva and many others. I can't wait for the new season to begin.
5. My husband and i have completely different taste in music. That would not normally be a problem but we are both musicians, so there are a lot of disapproving looks going on. After 10 years of living together we are a lot more tolerant than we used to.
6. I get food fetishes.  I obsess over a food and keep making it over and over until i can't eat it any more. My current obssession is eggplant.
7.I am a recovering  sugar addict. It's been 10 hours since the last time, but it was n't my fault. Someone brought home a cake. I threw it away because i was doing so well. It has been a week. But i ate a couple of tablespoons. I am going to go cold turkey now. That means no honey either.
 And now to the fun part of the award. I have to pass it along to  7 bloggers. Here they are
1.Angela
2.hindustanka
3.Debra
4.danielle
5.lon
6.Rose
7.Mary.
They are all wonderful unique bloggers and they always manage to bring a smile to my face.
Have a blessed month,week and day!

Giving thanks on Lammas

Greetrings dear blogfriends. Lammas is just around the corner and just a week later is my birthday.I am turning 29 on the 8th of August. Lughnasad is one of my favourite holidays but to mark the day this year i will just bake a pie and burn some incensee. The most important part of the celebration will be eating a hearty meal and giving thanks for all our blessings.
This year i have so many things to be thankful for.
my wonderful husband. Our healthy family. Lots of wonderful friends.Our jobs. And the newest addition to the gang our beautiful fairy princess.

Lots of love and light to you and your loved ones.

May i introduce you Melina-Nefeli

Here she is, 9.5 pounds of cuteness!

She is wearing a tutu dress i made for her when i was still pregnant.She is not very happy  in those pictures, because she was both sleepy and hungry, a deadly combination, as i may add. In case you did n't know that, babies can be loud. Do n't let the smooshy face fool you, she likes things done her way!

I, on the other hand, am getting better. Still not at my best healthwise, but getting there. 

Be blessed, be loved and have lots of fun!

My Solstice baby is here

She is the most amazing creature i have ever set my eyes on. The softest thing i ever touched and her smell is divine. She was born on the Magic Cusp at 6.14pm with a ceasarean because after 12 hours of labour, two oxytocin bags and other drugs i can not remember, i  still was n't dialated at all, because of her position. But despite things not going as planned what is important is that i brought into the world a pink, healthy baby that weighed 3380kg.
 I on the other hand could be better.I returned from the hospital with a uti. My back is killing me, i can not walk,but i am getting better every day. I can't wait to be on my feet so i can enjoy her even more. Sleep deprivation plus hormones equals me crying over every little thing. Baby can't latch on my nipples, i cry. The amount of breastmilk i pump is little for her and the doctor says i should supplement, i cry. I freak out so badly, about every little thing that has to do with her. I am worried all the time. I am having great difficulty to center and find my balance. But then she sleeps on my chest and i watch her and i feel the happiest and fullest i have ever been.
While i was giving birth i asked of my husband to burn a piece of paper with a protective spell i wrote for her. Then while it was the full moon he did the first magical thing of his own. He thanked the Moon Goddess for us. He texted me that while i was in the hospital and i thought that this was the sweetest thing.
I hope your Solstice was a magical and powerful one full of fairy dust and love.