I am a coward!

I am in a dillema! This year, like every year my conservatory is going to have a concert with the best students. I am participating to those concerts for the last four years. This year it is going to take place in a different place and i feel like i am not as prepared as i would like. This is also the first year that a professor of mine, a very vain professor of mine i might add, is going to join us with his choir. Since i am singing solo i have to be great, no mistakes can happen.
These are all excuses.. I am scared. I get the worst case of stage frights and this is the pure and honest truth. I know exposure is the only way to fight it, but goddess help me i cant! I love music, i love singing but i am a coward( i know this is not very wiccan of me, but this is how i feel). The stage, the lights, and the audience, they sum up my darkest of fears. Maybe all i need is a bit of supernatural help. If you have any ideas for herbs, spells,potions i could use i would love to hear them.
By the way, iwant to say a big thank you and lots of love to solitairy phoenix. Reading your post made me understand that i have to stop postponing it and face my fears. Brightest blessings to you all!

What makes me pagan..

This is a response to a new blog : paganprompts.blogspot.com, that you should check out.
What makes me pagan? I guess the most distinctive characteristic of my pagan path is the way i connect with nature. You probably expected me to speak about magick, or Wicca, or even my psychic practice. Although all those things define me and are huge aspects of my life, they are n't the most important pieces of my pagan path. The way of cycles of nature, my goddess,the wind, the trees, the rain, the dance of flowers under the touch of wind, the smell of grass, a raindrop on my finger are the most obvious faces of Magick. That is the way i truly connect.
Once around the age of 16, long before i considered my self Wiccan, i was very upset. I was bursting to tears, soaking into grief, and i was feeling really alone in this world. I had tons of friends, a big family that cared for me, but i was so lonesome, no one could understand me. I was running through my neighborhood streets like crazy trying to find a place that i could hide. I found a rosemary bush and i cut a branch, then went somewhere no one could see me and i burnt it with a lighter that i had in my pocket, while i was asking for guidance from my dead grandmother( one that i never had a chance to meet). This wasn't a family ritual, it was more like a need. I am not a medium, but right then i felt her presense helping me, hugging me, guiding me. What i am saying is i was n't always Wiccan but i have always been pagan. I think that you can be pagan without altars, books of shadows. You can be pagan even if you are christian, because paganism is the way our heart connects with the divine through nature.

A tripping witch, or i love you guys

No rituals,no preminitions, no charms, no incantations, nothing is really setting the mood. To be honest i am not even doing something. I am just feeling, and what i feel is pure magick.Magick at it's best.I breath in slowly so i can really make it last. It amazes me because i am indoors just kicking back, i have n't even meditated today. Don't you just love it when this happens? This divine rush of energy running through you when less expected?
I am going to share with you something today. Maybe some of you will think i am crazy( which i totally am, but i am the harmless kind).Maybe some of you will think that i spent way much time watching Charmed(which i definitely did! But lets be honest who did n't?). But i am going to take the risk of you thinking i lost it and say it already. I believe that this way we have of sharing opinions, feelings, thoughts, even fears, while being so open about our beliefs gives us the opportunity to come across each others energies. And you all have beautiful energies. Dont get me wrong. I am not saying i am taking a potion and going to fight some demons or that we dont have dark sides. But before meeting you being a solitairy practitioner, was just it. Something that was mine and only had to do with me. I could n't share it, i could n't exchange experiences with other people. I have been lucky enough to work with metaphysics.I meet in my job so many people that find interesting anything metaphysical and even the fact that my family has a long magickal tradition, these are all things that i have been blessed with. But i have never known a Wiccan before, or even a pagan so well informed and open about their practices. So maybe i get a little enthusiastic and carried away. But i feel so glad i found you.
You can judge me all you want, but this is the way i feel for you: You are forces of light spreading good magick and wonderful energies..( Well, that is what we try to do)
Just so you know i am not doing any drugs and i am completely sobber!
Blessed be my witch friends.

April the first

Did you know that all fools day has celtic roots? The Celts were great fisherman and the beginning of fishing season was April the 1st. But no matter how good they were it is hard to catch a lot of fishes this early. So when they returned home they lied about their accomplishments and it sort of became a tradition. Many think that this is the way it all begun. So be careful and don't get fooled.
Yesterday and today i really feel spring is actually here. Trees and flowers are blossoming, the weather is great, even the birds outside my window are making happy noises. And although i did n't make it to the beach i ended up having a great road trip along with my beautiful dog and a nice night with my best friend. Thank you for all your support. It made a huge difference.
First thing in the morning a friend spreaded holy water over my house, and this evening i am going to have a ritual to welcome the new month. I hope it brings prosperity to all of us.

A witch with the blues

I feel the cleansing and liberating feeling of wet tears running through my cheeks. Nothing major has happened, i have just been reminded of things better left forgotten. Which is a very wrong approach- i believe it is called denial!- because i will never work out my issues that way. You can say it is an emotional day at least.
I am a very opinionated person who talks a lot . But when things get overwhelming i can not make a full sentense, which of course leads to me being misunderstood, which most of the times leads to me yelling. I know, i know...Communicative skills are n't just for chit-chat. Why is it so difficult to express our feelings some times? I mean... i am studying psychology for crying out loud! I have all the tools and yet some buttons are pushed and i am a cave woman again, it is like evolution never took place and i am about to be amazed by the invention of wheel.
Outside my window it is a windy day, somehow the weather always suits my soul. I feel my life force being sucked up by depression, making me exhausted and even moving my hands around the keyboard is a difficult process. As i see my neon screen getting filled with my words my pain gets slowly wiped away. Somehow this activity(blogging) over a short period of time got soothing and helpful, but i only realised it today.
I skipped class this afternoon(yeah the scheduling thing i was rambling about yesterday does n't seem to work out) and i was going to watch an episode or two of desperate housewives but i think i will just go for a walk, maybe even a small trip to the beach so i can walk barefoot on the sand. I 'll let you know when i come back. Blessed be from a witch with the blues.

Good morning...

A new week is ahead of us and i am feeling it is going to be a creative one.. We are all busy going to work, running chores but lets not allow the stress to get the best of us. Along with our morning coffee we are all making plans of how to squizze into our day everything we have to do. We are so used to checking of our lists paying bills and picking up groceries, but what about a moment to relax?So do n't forget to give your pet a big hug before heading of to where you are going,give your soulmate a long kiss and squizze your kid a little bit..
Are you organised? Are you writing down to give your best friend a call during your lunch break? I used to be very organised in the past but lately for some reason-unknown to me- i can't be. My new week 's resolution is to turn a new leaf and start making schedules again. In this crazy world we have to be practical. I will keep you update of how i am doing.
Since yesterday i have a bruising in my arm which hearts a lot and i am trying to not pay attention. I have hung it from my neck and did the ice thing. It is not working very well for me.. I might consume some painkillers. If you know a herbal home made remedy for a bad arm please let me know..
I know today my head is all over the place, i hope i am making a little bit of sense..So lets all have a great week filled with love, passion and magick
Blessed be my witch-friends***

I am on fire!!!

Do n't you love spontanious rituals? I think they carry such a powerful energy. Today i needed to cleanse my house because i had a visit of a very negative person. When she left i grabbed rosemary which is my favourite herb and burnt it all over my house. The smoke was fantastic,it was new moon(great for cleansing), the energy and the feelings were amazing. The purification was indeed intense and although the ritual consumed a lot of energy i felt so alive.
The last week i had a lot of things to do that i have been postponing and i did them all this afternoon. Actually i can't remember the last time i have been so creative.I had a huge grocery bag full of rosemary that i made smudges of.I moved and gave a new look to my altar. I made tinctures, teas and herbal extracts, home made face creams and exfoliating scrubs, scented body oils. I also made an eye lotion made of cucumber juice which would be very easy if i had a juicer but i don't so you can say it was time consuming.I was on fire... As you can see i am very proud of myself...
I am going to take a bath and use them all.. It has been a while since i had a lot of time for myself and i am really enjoying it.. I hope you can all pause everything in your life for a few hours and pamper yourself.
Here is a tip for those of you who don't have time for a lot of pampering. Take a shower and then put some baby oil in a small glass, add a few drops of your favorite and available essential oils. Put it in the microwave for no more than ten seconds. Apply and enjoy!! It is like bringing spa at home. Of course it would be better if you could convience your soulmate to massage you with it. I can't, unless he has done something baaad :-(
Blessed be fellow witches**