Creative dillema. To quit or not to quit?

What did I do?  I buried me under layers of fat and obligations.  I squashed my most bright version under my fear until there was nothing there but a shadow with whom I had nothing in common. I couldn't let go of the hope but it was always based on a fairytale. My knights in shiny armors couldn't find me in the darkest hole of my psyche that I was hiding. I don't want to accept it's too late but my investments were not only lacking but also wrong. Is there still time? To do what,  start from the beginning? Or should I accept it's all but a dream,  an illusion that fooled me? I didn't believe in myself,  but to be fair I was taught not to. Did I ever really have a choice? How much can a person exceed their written path? How much is owed? How much is due?Should I accept the facts? Splitting my focus in a million things almost killed me the first time. Even if I gave myself another chance, how would that be any different? Will I give myself a chance,  will I grab it? Just wanting to throw my questions out into the night. So, my Mother's infinite wisdom can once more find me in my dreams. Dear Mother, what path shall I choose now? I scatter my thoughts in a handful of dry rose petals, so my silent dillema can echo into the darkness. 


Shadow said...

Never! Never! Give up on your dreams. Or hope. We are all curtailed by others from the moment of our birth, being shaped into another's perceptions of what we should be. Shrug it off. Follow your instinct. And be, really be, yourself.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

May the Goddess guide you.

Toni said...

Have you read The Dance by Oriah Mountain Dreamer? (one more thing to squeeze into an overflowing schedule) It is a wonderful little book that really inspires to respect our own dance. You might even find your mother speaking to you through the book.